It being the beginning of May already, I suddenly realised that I’ve officialy been teaching for a year. A year. I can’t believe it has already been that long. It feels like yesterday that I was repeating my exam sequence over and over again. That I was stressing out about the correct order of the chakra’s, the biggest take aways of the Bhagavad Gita or the proper alignment in Utthita Trikonasana. A year.
Teacher or student?
Though since the exam I have been teaching one to two classes per week at work and I definitely feel like I’ve grown into the art of teaching, I still feel more like a student than an actual teacher. Maybe I feel even more like a student now, than I did before I actually became a teacher. It almost feels like the more I learn, the less I know. Does that make sense?
Every class I teach, teaches me something. Every conversation I have with a student, reminds me that I am in the exact same place as that student is. And this hasn’t changed in the course of a year. I am constantly reminded of my own journey, of the things I have to work on. And that I guess is good, as long as a stay confident in the things I do. But just that, is not always easy.
The inner critic
Those who follow Rachel Brathen (Yogagirl) and listen to her podcasts, know that she has talked a lot about the ‘inner critic’. That voice inside you that tells you you’re not good enough. And lately, especially with the live online classes I currently teach, I find this inner voice talking to me again. Telling me I’m not professional enough, that my body doesn’t look like that of a ‘real yoga teacher’ and that I should improve myself way more before I even consider having the ‘odessity’ to offer live yoga classes for everyone to join. And this sucks, for it affects my over all experience as a teacher and definitely doesn’t make me any better at what I do.

But the good thing is, I am able to observe these thoughts more objectively now than I was before. I too, should keep my attention within the four corners of my yoga mat, and simply enjoy to feeling of sharing my passion. Of teaching those postures that have helped me a long way.
People join my classes because they want to practice yoga with me or to simply have a look at what I do. They don’t join to judge me or make fun of me and I should keep that in mind. Those present, share my passion for yoga and that is that. And as long as I stay true to myself, to what I know, I can give them my best experience possible. Because only I can teach the way I teach and I should be proud of that. I should also trust that ‘my students’ will find their way to my classes and that I am enough to them. That I can actually do what the certificate I received more than a year ago allows me to do. And on top of that, it most likely only got better, for I have more experience with teaching now and I have added another year of steady self practice.
And of course, there is so much more to learn, so much I can improve, but that is an ongoing process. It will never ever change. And that is actually a wonderful thing, because it means yoga will be a life long friend that supports me and ecourages me to grow. ALways.
Lessons learned
After a full year of teaching both on-and offline, it is time for me identify my lessons learned and set myself an intention for the coming year. Every time that ‘inner critic’ finds me in its audience, I will simply leave the theatre, meaning I will actively decide that there’s only truth in the experience, not in the thoughts about it. And this I will tell myself everytime before I teach. If I’m fully present in every class I teach, I will do the best job I can. And I simply have to trust that that is enough.
And by practicing myself, by deepening my own experience and deepening my knowledge, I will grow. Just as I did in the past year. I simply have to trust and surrender to that thought.

So, again I conclude a blog with being thankful for the fact that I have yoga in my life. Thankful for having had the opportunity to become a teacher myself and therefore remain a life long student.

I wish you all health, space to practice and the strength to accept the things the way they are. Let us be united through yoga and I hope we can soon return to practicing in each others presence again.
Love,
Jantine
Life is a continuous learning curve Jantine, untill your very last sigh!
LikeLiked by 1 person
So true, every day Is a new experience, a new lesson. You don’t have to master them all as long as you are aware there is so much to discover be it small or big. Keep doing this all your life.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Jantine,
followed your class this Morning for the first time – just the last 15 Minutes – and it was much better than „good enough“ 🙂
Thank you for doing this for others!!
LikeLike
Thank you very much Andreas! Nice to hear that you could join me for a little bit. Hope to ‘see’ you on the mat again soon. Enjoy your day!
LikeLike